Completely New.

Nearly 2 years since I began this little blog, and not much less then that since the last time i have posted. Im now halfway through my junior year, i have a job, and just a lot has changed. I doubt anyone is still listening, but let me tell you what has been going on in my little life. 

Lets start with Carly, Jade, Rebecca, and Nancy. My 'best friends'. Well, not anymore. 

High school changes you, it warps you, pulls you away, and fuses you to something new. Thats basically what happened. We simply grew apart. Well not really as simply as that. Relationships, whether romantic or family or friendly, are a two-way street. And i was the only one driving. And there was the fact that i started smoking weed occasionally and apparently that is a one-way ticket to ruining your life and eventually youll start injecting black-tar heroin and dropping acid (not the case, i might add). It simply goes to show that they no longer cared about our friendship and thats okay. 

At the present date my best friends, and they are simply amazing, are Abby and Macy. Abby and i had been in a good group of friends way back in middle school, oh lordy that was ages ago. But we recently reconnected and are closer then ever. I met Macy last year in my geography class and became really close as well. 

Now here's the boy drama. 

Sam and i no longer speak anymore. In fact he moved to Colorado a few months back. No hard feelings against him, we left on good terms. Hung out a few times before he left. But Sam and i's story ended a long time ago. 

Tim. Oh there is so much i could say about him. We are still friends and talk from time to time. However its been difficult lately. I actually am in a relationship of almost 8 months to a boy named Jake (ill go into detail about our story another time). Tim had transferred schools last year. Not looking for him in the hallway, wondering if we had classes together, hoping to catch a glimpse of him after school, it had immensely helped not to interfere with my current relationship. I no longer had to worry whether or not i was going to revert back to my old feelings. Out of sight out of mind. 

Now here's the kicker. Tim just transferred back.

Now i dont know what to think. what i want. how i feel. i just dont know. 

He has a new girlfriend Maggie, and its not the i want to get back with him eventually, its the type of people that Tim and Jake are. 

I feel just like i did with Tim vs Sam. 

Tim is the type of boy whos mature for his age, who writes you letters, writes you songs, asks you how youve been doing. It may not sound like a lot, but it feels like heaven. 

Jake, and believe me, i do love him, but he is the type of boy who would rather sit and play xbox rather than have an intellectual conversation about life or beliefs. 

I'm just not sure what to do at this point. But im figuring it out.

I missed you lovelies. Be back soon.

Much love, 

Jane Doe.