so today i just bought some peanut butter at the gas station.
Do you ever do that? just see something and say i gotta have it?
Well according to Jake, thats what he thought the first time he saw me. Corny i know, right?
Jake and i met 2nd semester of my sophmore year. We had 1st period French 2 together. Super romantic french is, or at least they say. The 'language of love'. i guess you could say its occasionally true. But just like anything meant to be beautiful it doesnt always turn out that way. Jake would think of any reason to talk to me. The first text he sent me he was pretending to be the IRS saying that they had caught me for insurance fraud. Whata dork. We began talking more and more. I bought an xbox recently after we began talking, and he told me he'd come set it up for me. That was the first time we had hung out. By the end of the night he took a selfie of us and captioned it, "chillin with the best friend". Thats how he saw me. Obviously we ended up going out. However i knew it wasnt right. After just 3 weeks i ended it because i couldnt get over Tim. And that wasnt fair to him. He couldnt even say anything. He just kept saying "its fine, its fine" and walked into his house. I pretended to be sick for the next 3 days so i wouldnt have to see his face. That was probably the hardest thing ive ever had to do to someone because i could see how hurt he was. i guess i got over it though because a few months later, around the beginning of summer we started hanging out again and eventually got back together. And nearly 8 months later here we are.
Thats why this is so hard. I cannot even imagine having to tell Jake the same thing that killed him a year ago. Because i know how hard that is to hear. i experienced it with Tim. And i dont even know if i want to tell him that.
I dont know. I guess we'll figure it out.
Much love,
Jane Doe.